A Saturday Unplugged and Enlightened

Yesterday, we started in earnest to make some progress on our Chinese New Year's Resolutions. I probably picked a weird combination of having a "No Screens Day" and visiting some museums on our list, but there it is. To ease ourselves into the process, we switched off our TV and computers and set aside our phones starting at 11 a.m. That gave me ample time to plan the rest of our day. Next month, maybe we'll have the psychic strength to go a full day sans-glowing screens.

Anyway, we ventured over to University Circle to visit the Cleveland Museum of Natural History, followed by the Cleveland Museum of Art.

Visiting these places without the use of my phone kind of sucked. One one hand, it allowed me to immerse myself into the exhibits; on the other hand, I didn't get to check in on Foursquare or take any pictures to share with you. Probably good for my psyche, not great for my blog.

Anyway.

The Museum of Natural History was great. They were hosting a Groundhog's Day celebration, including several appearances by live animals. I got to pet a skunk named Lilac, and the staff were raffling off paintings made by Lake Erie Eddie (a groundhog), stomping adorably all over canvas with paint on his paws. I didn't win the painting, but I do have two cats and access to canvas, so...

Forgive me for a moment while I venture into contentious territory. I will do my utmost to keep my temper in check: If you cannot bring yourself to consider the possibility that humans may have evolved over time, or that the earth is older than a few thousand years, save yourself the $10 admission and don't go to the natural history museum. Or at least keep your voice down as you peruse the exhibit detaining evidence of human evolution. In exchange, I promise to never visit the Creation Museum. Because here's the thing: Monkeys and humans can exist at the same time without disproving evolution. Maybe you weren't reading closely enough.

Okay, now that that's off my chest. After the dinosaur bones, the collection of rare gems and jewels, the stuffed Balto and a quick coffee reload at the museum's cafe, we crossed the Wade Oval and entered the art museum.

Georges de La Tour.
Go see this in person.

I had no idea just how big it was. We didn't give ourselves nearly enough time to see as much as we wanted, but had a great time. El Greco's favorite exhibits were in line with his history-teacher nerdiness (Byzantine and Greek ancient art), while I liked Caravaggio and the naturalism movement. P.S. We know very little about art, so please don't judge.

We were kindly ushered towards the exits as the clock inched toward 5:00, but we still have plenty to see. I absolutely cannot believe it is free to go to the art museum, and can't wait to go back.

To finish off our afternoon, we ventured over to Little Italy for dinner. In 11th grade, my Latin class visited Little Italy (which my teacher called Little It'ly) and Lakeview Cemetery for a field trip, and dined at Mama Santa's. That was my only prior visit. Taking a suggestion from our New to Cleveland book, I decided to take us to Trattoria. One word review: Meh.

"Dude, those are some small shrimp."

Because gnocchi is one of my main food staples and because it was specifically recommended in New to Cleveland, that is what I ordered. El Greco opted for chicken picatta. I also ordered shrimp cocktail. The shrimp were limp, barely-thawed and pinky-sized, and we got only six despite how tiny they were. My gnocchi was okay, but I've had better every single (dozen) times I've ordered the gnocchi du jour at XYZ the Tavern. Also, we were seated in the bar area, replete with glaring overhead lighting, cheap vacation-home cabinetry, and about 20 people waiting for their tables hovering over us. Also, there were TVs, which was a total violation of No Screens Day; the one with basketball on it distracted El Greco every 5 seconds while the other played that great Keanu Reeves masterpiece, The Replacements. I've enjoyed better ambience while eating in my car.

I can definitely take the blame for not having made a reservation, but if it were my restaurant, I'd turn the bar into a coat check. Or give it up to the city and let them turn it into a bus stop.

After dinner we gave up on any attempts at a walking tour through Little Italy. The wind had picked up and my feet were killing me. We went home and read on the couch without the distraction of technology. It was very quiet. But I could get used to it.

P.S. On Friday night we went to Happy Dog for Polka Happy Hour. Our first foray into this Polish extravaganza was a delightfully cacophonous novelty, and I highly recommend that everyone try it once. But my advice to everyone is to leave before you want to. Trust me, it does not get better as the night goes on. DJ Kishka is much beloved, which means his fans buy him about 300 shots in the first hour, and he eventually starts repeating songs. He'll boo you on your way out the door, but it will be okay.

One more word of advice: If there's a guy across the bar with a handlebar mustache-goatee combo wearing a Russian ushanka, send him a PBR on your tab. He's not drinking it to be ironic, and his surprised grin will make your night.


Happy weekend, my friends. Cheers to you.